Spook the Avenger, Destroyer of Loo Rolls.

Having been deprived of her natural prey of electrical wires, Spook has now discovered a new fun game – ‘Steal the loo roll’.

This is an enchanting occupation, with several variations:

1) Take the loo roll in your teeth, carry it away, and hide it.  Particularly entertaining if the person fails to notice it’s absence.

2) Take the loo roll and drop it down the stairs, then chase it round the house unwinding toilet tissue for the person to roll up again.

3) Take the loo roll and ‘kill’ it, then disembowel it with your hind paws, so that tissue confetti decorates whole house and the person must vacuum. Pretend abject terror of vacuum-cleaner, and hide under the couch.  Cry piteously, and pretend you can’t get out again.

4) Take the loo roll in teeth, and run past the person, forcing them to chase you round the house in order to prevent variations 1 to 3.

The loo roll having been removed (again) from her clutches, Spook is now entertaining herself by hiding her toys in my shoes.

A kitten’s work is never done.

Spook the Avenger, Destroyer of Consumer Electronics

Back-story: Spook is a midget vandal disguised as a domestic cat. She is four months old, about five in cat-years, and reaching the height of her destructive powers.

A week or so ago I foolishly left my MP3 player on the bookshelf, and, not considering that I am now the proud parent of a hyperactive kitten, left the earbuds dangling down over the edge.  The next morning when I got out of bed I immediately stepped on a small hard object that gave way with a crunch.  One of the ear buds.  The other was never found (I think she ate it).

This was one of those times when you dearly wish that cats understood English.  There I am, in my underwear inspecting my savaged MP3 player. Sharp kitty teeth have snipped through the wires effortlessly.  Spook comes bounding up to me in joy and hugs my leg – her signal that I need to pick her up and cuddle her.  I would have yelled at her if there was any chance of her understanding why.

Never mind. I rooted through my junk box and salvaged a pair of old earbuds off a CD walkman I’d forgotten I still had. This time I stowed the MP3 player securely in my bag, with the earbuds wound round it.

An hour later, I returned to find that Spook the Avenger had struck again. My bag had been knocked off the table, and it’s contents scattered across the living-room floor.  Picture Spook lying on her back in the centre of a swathe of  destruction, displaying her fuzzy spotted tummy and waving her paws in a display of kitty-cuteness.  One of the earbuds is half-severed. The other is in my shoe.

I bought a new pair of earbuds, and much to Spook’s disgruntlement, my bag now lives on a coat-hook far above her reach.

I thought that this was the end of her fascination with electronics, but no. Yesterday I awoke to find that during the night,  Spook had chewed through the powercable to my wireless router.  Following online advice, I have now rubbed soap on every exposed cable in the house.

Spook: 3, Consumer Electronics: 0.